The more I attend meetings, the more I appreciate the culture of my Toastmaster's group. Specifically, there's a spirit of generosity amongst the group, especially when it comes to giving feedback.
Toastmasters have structured feedback opportunities. There is an evaluator assigned to each speech presenter, and is given 2-3 minutes to share their thoughts with the group after all the speeches are given. All members submit written forms on each speech, with specific elements broken out (e.g. vocal variation, eye contact, organization), and guests are invited to share their feedback at the end of each meeting.
Feedback is a core value of the organization, and I admire how gracious and effective the members have been with it.
Feedback is a gift.
I hold onto this thought but in reality, feedback often hurts. Feedback can present as insulting and critical. There's a real skill to make it feel like a gift. It takes a generous spirit, sincere listening, thoughtful analyses, and needs to offer suggestions for development. Feedback is also praise. Feedback can be holistic, but it can also focus on a specific element.
I mentioned earlier that it was the evaluations I heard that really made me want to join. It's my favorite part, because there are some really masterful evaluators in our group and the thing I'm most excited to learn. It's clear how carefully they listen, and the suggestions they offer range from presentation, but also specific notes to craft more effective stories. At the end of tonight's meeting a member was explaining the principle of offering feedback to 'elevate'.
It's also becoming clear how much these folks are putting in the work for their personal development. They want to be better humans, better parents, better friends.
I met a woman tonight who came in as a guest, and was so authentic and charismatic. She had been a longtime member of Toastmasters 30 years ago, and was just getting back into it. She shared her story of how she had joined Toastmasters after her divorce with hopes of meeting someone (which she did, and was happily married for 30 years!). It was clear how Toastmasters had impacted her life, and she shared how learning to accept and apply feedback helped her through a difficult family dynamic, and made her a better teacher. Meeting her felt like a blessing.
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